What to Look For In a Projector
You’re excited. You just purchased a new 85-inch television, snuck it through a door your spouse doesn’t use, and spent all Saturday morning adjusting the brightness, tweaking the saturation, refining the contrast, balancing the color temperature, and finally sitting back in its radiant glory only to say, “Nah, I need a bigger screen.”
That’s when you realize you need a projector. Because setting up a home theater with a screen of 85 inches is, frankly, immoral. I suppose, under very limited circumstances, you could get away with a screen that is maaaybe a hundred inches, provided the circumstances demand it—perhaps you are giving a lecture on the excesses of capitalism and you don’t want to undermine your message (tickets now available for $125). But in all other circumstances, you need a projector that will display an image large enough to accompany Mount Rushmore.
At this point you may say, “I’m no anti-capitalist—I never use my hammer, and it’s been ages since I’ve seen my sickle—how do I get involved in the Ultra High Definition world of home theater projection?” That’s where I come in. I am going to tell you how, just as soon as I get the results of a Google search query for …
What to Look for in a Projector
The first thing to look for in a projector is a descriptive three-letter initialism, such as DLP, LCD, or LED. I can’t tell you what these letters stand for, but trust me when I say I didn’t make much effort to find out.
But even if you find a projector with one of these, you must also be careful not to select a projector that can be described with other, less desirable letters, such as those referenced in the following actual customer reviews.
“The manufacturer’s warranty apparently does not cover manufacturing defects, so now I am SOL.”
“This projector is a POS.”
“I was excited to get my projector, but all I got was an empty box. WTF.”
Another thing to look for in projectors is the number of lumens. What is a lumen? As the word itself suggests, projector manufacturers like to make up words that have no meaning. I say this because some high-end projectors claim to have an industry-leading three thousand lumens, whereas some cheapo projectors claim a number that is suspiciously higher, like three billion.
What about resolution? Do you really need a projector with 4K resolution? Anyone asking this question is bound to say the following: There really isn’t a lot of 4K content available, even from major movie studios, so I don’t see why I should spend extra money for a feature I’m not going to use. This is a valid point. But it is also extremely stupid. If I had a nickel for every time I purchased a piece of gear with a feature not likely to be useful in the current millennium, I’d be as rich as a lecturing anti-capitalist. If you think the point of buying technology is to serve some useful purpose, then you really don’t understand technology.
As for audio, you don’t need a fancy sound setup, because presumably you already have a system you feel is adequate for a Superbowl party at your house or, if you subtract a few speakers, Taylor Swift at the Tokyo Dome.
Lastly, you need something to project onto. Fortunately, this is an area where you can save money. Though you can use a projector screen, any flat surface will do, even a bare wall. You can probably find something unused just lying around the house. An 85-inch-flat screen television, for example.